Saturday, July 23, 2011

confessions of a selfish heart

As wonderfully blessed as I am to be a mother to two of the most precious babies ever, my selfish nature still remains. I must confess that this has been a hard summer. Gone are the days of sitting outside, soaking up the sun. Late night bonfires are replaced with early bedtimes, in preparation for 3AM wake-ups. My glorious beach days have turned into all day Disney channel marathons (don't get me wrong, I unashamedly love watching Disney!) But the very real realities of being a mom have settled in. 
Over our anniversary weekend, my husband and I were children free. As much as I missed them, I realized I almost missed the life with no kids more. Exploring Minneapolis, dining at cute restaurants, shopping trips, etc. All without the interruption of a poopy diaper, screaming baby, or spit-up cover clothes. At that point I felt beyond the lowest of the low! God has blessed me with two amazing gifts, when so many others struggle just to have one! 
I have been reminded and encouraged that these thoughts and feelings are completely normal. My life has changed. I am not the "typical" 23 year old female! In this day and age when careers and fun come first, I am instead, a stay at home mom. Now, whenever I find myself slipping into that state of selfishness and self pity, I have to stop and take a moment and remember that God has a plan. A wonderful, perfect plan! Even though this may not have been what I had planned for my life, it is so much more that I could have ever dreamed of!
So with the days of late night bonfires, all day beach visits and hours of sunbathing, cute restaurants, and shopping sprees behind me, I look ahead to the smiles, first tooth, first fumbled step, "mama" and "dada" spoken with love, and thank God for chipping away at my selfish heart!

1 comment:

  1. just remember you're not alone. we have other new, fun and exciting things to look forward to! and us young mamas and papas can do it together!